New Year's Eve

A crap ton of stuff has happened in my absence (as usual) so I'll just give you a list for today. Nothing truly coherent, but I want to get back on my Blogging Horse. 

• Mom went to Minnesota for New Year's.
• I found out I have an ulcer.
• I have been instructed to drink one beer a day for said ulcer.
• I'm looking for a way AROUND drinking so much beer.
• I also found out I need to see three different doctors for three different reasons.
• I was gifted a crap ton of cooking utensils and gadgets for Christmas.
• I had an episode, and I killed a butterfly.
• I developed an allergy to something, something that I can't figure out yet.
• I swore off dating.

That last one right there exempts me from my promise of having to post a very uncomfortable, heartfelt post that I promised I would. 

(Well, no, it doesn't, but I'm trying to postpone it further...I don't see anyone complaining about that...)

Happy New Year's to any readers out there.

Twilit

WARNING: This post contains spoilers for the video game, "Twilight Princess", so those of you who haven't played it and plan to (or even if you DON'T)...GTFO RIGHT NOW. Right now, do you hear me?! Also, this post is mostly about Midna. Because I now love her. LOVE her.

...It seems a lot of my posts are coming with warnings lately. Might have to fix that.

Please listen to THIS as you read this post. SO beautiful! 

Okay. I finished playing "Twilight Princess" at 1:30 this morning. It took me two and a half weeks to finish this game. I logged in 190 hours of game play (150 if you don't count the ones I was asleep for). I screamed. I cried. I cursed at the controller, at Midna, at Link, at EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER IN THE GAME. I threw a tantrum at EVERY task, including the first ones in Ordon Village. I didn't get enough sleep, I spent 8-9 hour periods of time on the game. 


So worth it. Every second. So worth it.


This game. Oh my goddesses. If you haven't played it, DO SO.

DO IT.

Granted, it was the biggest pain in the ass I've ever encountered (like I said, TANTRUMS), but once I figured out how to overcome the challenges I felt absolutely EPIC. I hated Midna at the beginning, and grew to love her by the time I finished up at Lake Hylia. I cried when she disappeared at the end. CRIED. SO. HARD. 

How could you hate a face like that...after a time, I mean...

And when I saw her again in her actual form, I cried even more. 

HOW COULD THIS NOT MAKE YOU CRY?!

And when she disappeared forever, I FREAKING BAWLED. WHY, MIDNA, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BREAK THE FREAKING MIRROR OF TWILIGHT?! WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST KEEP THE CONNECTION BETWEEN YOU AND LINK?!

Need more tissues. Need more tissues ; ;

Alright. Yes. I cried a lot. I would go to the Realm of Twilight all over again. I would play this game over and over just to cry over and over. I felt for Midna near the end. I felt her pains, and her sorrows. 


I'm crying again, could you excuse me for a few more millenia?

Better Late Than Later

So, I said back in....October, I believe it was, in "Pardon My Absence" that I was going to start anew with diet and exercise. 


That did not happen as soon as I'd hoped. 


Well, today, I've started it. I finally cracked down and started the diet. I've already screwed up, I know, but I'm not going to give up cos I missed two meals. I'll just have to remember to eat tomorrow.

This man...he's more fit than I am...I'd be purple in the face if I were running on that thing.

I'll probably be better off tomorrow, too, since I didn't sleep all night. I'm exhausted. I'm beat. I walked my brother to and from school today, as part of my exercise. I don't know how I managed the from part. I had just woken up after four hours of sleep. 


This isn't the best way to start anew, to be honest. But I figured that no matter what, I should start it now, or I'll put it off again to the point where I may just give up on it. And I don't want to give up. 


If it's not raining tomorrow, I'm going for a jog around the high school track. If it's raining, well, there's always stuff to do inside. I hope. 

Oh Crap

Warning; This post contains lots of urine and poop. Which is kinda nasty. So if you don't want to read about it, then I suggest you skip this one. I have to post, though, just to, erm, get it out of my system. And I suppose one could learn something from it. 


So much for getting some R&R. So much for getting better. I was hospitalized yesterday.


Around 1 on Sunday morning, I decided that enough was enough. I had been in discomfort for days. I hadn't gone to the bathroom in a week (well, at least number two). I was feeling really...well...shitty. I had tried laxatives. I had tried prunes. I had tried sitting in warm water, squatting, stool softeners. I had reached the end of my rope, gone to my last resorts and still was stuck. I went to the emergency room. 


Things only got worse when I got there. I needed to give them a urine sample. Okay. That should have been a simple, painfully easy task. It wasn't. I could barely get a dribble out, and what came out couldn't be captured. I put it down to nerves and pressure pain, and in a little while it would be fixed. 


Wrong. Four hours later and three more tries, nothing. By that time, they'd given me an x-ray and told me they'd be taking a look. By that time, NOTHING was coming out, and my bladder felt painfully full. The doctor came in and poked my belly a bit (the parts on my belly that WEREN'T swollen and tender were extremely ticklish, and I went from hissing in pain to choking on giggles in seconds), then set me up for a CT scan. Which meant more liquid. 


I had to drink what seemed like an ocean of barium sulfate suspension. I finished the crap around 7:30 am. I started at quarter to six. It was a miracle that I managed to hold it all down. They had me wait two hours so the suspension could get into my system. As I'd been drinking, though, the pain was getting worse. By the time 9:30 came around, I was kicking around on my stretcher, whimpering, and crying. My belly was swollen to the point where I thought I'd soon pop. My bladder was screaming, and my bowels were flaring in agony. I could barely move from the stretcher to the wheelchair when the radiologist came to take me away. Moving was excruciating, even if it was a simple kick of my leg. 


When I returned, Mom had just woken in the chair in my hospital room, and she was talking to my little brother (there was nobody home, so he came with us) who had slept on a stretcher. I hadn't slept all night. The nurse left, and I turned to my mother. I practically rounded on her. I demanded to know how long it was going to take before they did something. By then I was constantly in tears, and definitely couldn't pee at all, despite the fact that my bladder was full to bursting. She told me that there was procedure that needed to be followed and I'd just have to wait, and that the weren't going to give me anything for the pain.

My face when I was told I'd have to wait for help with no painkillers.

I swear I wanted to kill her. 


Around 11, she took Simon home. Because at that point, I'd started whispering out loud that I wish they'd just get it over with. I didn't say "And kill me," but that was what I'd been thinking, because I was in too much pain to think. Her timing couldn't have been more perfect. The doctor came in and told me that my scan showed that nothing was wrong, but they had to catheterize me due to the fact that my bladder had filled to three times its normal size. Because it had done this, the muscles couldn't move on their own. 


With this news, I began to shake. I had only heard about catheters in books. Books like Sybil. Books like Suffer the Child. Books where the mother was exceptionally cruel and had filled her daughter's bladder with ice water, where catheters were only used to provide painful punishments and insane tortures. Needless to say, I was terrified. What kind of agony awaited me? Fortunately, I was so very wrong on the images, and found myself sighing with relief when it was all over. I had been harboring the equivalent of a 20 oz bottle of Pepsi in my bladder. Ouch. 


I dozed off. Blissfully dozed off for half an hour. Then my nurse came in and told me of my next procedure. The enema.


Same deal as the catheter, I'd only really heard of these in terms of cruelty and sadistic maliciousness. But when she showed me the bottle and explained it, I wasn't even fazed. I had been wrong about the catheter. I certainly was wrong about this, too. No details necessary, except that it certainly worked. And it certainly helped. I felt like a deflated balloon by the time they discharged me. I was only slightly nauseous when I got home, and ended up sleeping that off. Since then, I've eaten a bowl of chicken-flavoured rice. That's all I think I can handle right now.

My face when I left the hospital. Ew. Yeah.

In short, I feel fantastic. But blue holy hell, what a procedure that was! I think I should have listened to my horoscope that Friday, though, and eaten some tuna-flavoured pudding. I'm positive I could have solved my bowel problem with that. That horoscope can be found in my former post, "Written In The Stars", for anyone who cares to read it. 


I think some lifestyle changes are in order. Yes indeed. I NEVER want to go through that again. NEVER. 

Written in the Stars

I've been too serious lately. And I've been trying too hard to work on my future, to set it up and to keep it on the path I want to. What if the path I want isn't the one I'm destined to travel? What if there's something else in my destiny? I haven't been considering the possibility that there's something bigger in life for me than my dreams. I think I'll check the horoscopes. 

AQUARIUS

There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus, Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-a-Mole 17 hours a day.

PISCES

Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola Virus. You are the true Lord of the Dance, no matter what those idiots at work say!

ARIES

The look on your face will be priceless when you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon. Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, and give a hickey to Meryl Streep.

TAURUS

You will never find true happiness; what you gonna do, cry about it? The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep.

GEMINI

Your birthday party will be ruined once again, by your explosive flatulence. Your love life will run into trouble when your fiancé(e) hurls a javelin through your chest.

CANCER

The position of Jupiter says that you should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud. Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driving test.

LEO

Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss' face, oh no! Eat a bucket of tuna flavored pudding and wash it down with a gallon of strawberry Quik.

VIRGO

All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you.
Expect a big suprise today, when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick.

LIBRA

A big promotion is just around the corner, for someone much more talented than you. Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendix bursts next week.

SCORPIO

Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall screaming from an open window. Work a little bit harder on improving your low self esteem, you stupid freak!

SAGITTARIUS

All your friends are laughing behind your back. KILL THEM. Take down all the naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine you've got hanging in your den.

CAPRICORN

The stars say you're a exciting and wonderful person, but you know they're lying. If I were you I'd lock my doors and windows and never, never, never, never, never, leave my house again!






...well now. I guess it's time to find some tuna flavoured pudding and strawberry Quik. Damnit, my plans were ruined. I had some really good shots from the photocopier! Ah well. I don't have the Ebola virus, so all you Pisces are pretty much safe, so perhaps you should join me...although, it might be almost cannibalistic if you try to eat my tuna pudding. 


~~ All credit to this goes to Weird Al Yankovic and his song "Your Horoscope For Today"; link HERE. ~~

The Final Hours

Well, as you can see from my little widget, I did NOT win NaNoWriMo. I got almost halfway there, though. That's the most I've EVER written, paper and pencil, typewriter (I have used one before, I used to OWN one) or what have you. 113 pages is the most I've ever written on a single tale. I think that's damn good, even though I could have written more.


Not that I'm going to trash it, no. I've come too far to give up on it.

Still going!

November was a rough run, though, in general. With the death of my old laptop, the inability to use the working one, and a lot of struggles of the heart, I don't think I got through it quite in one piece. Even as I type this, I'm listening to "Black Balloon" by the Goo Goo Dolls. I'm melancholy. Not really sure why yet. Could be that I have a really tough post ahead of me.


It's not this post. I'm not ready for it to be THIS post. I have to get it all together in my head. The dreaded post that I speak of will most likely come sometime before Christmas, and if not, well, I don't know. It depends on how long I can hold back while it eats away at me. The post is going to be rife with confessions, shame, tears, admissions, hope, guilt, memories, melancholy, and probably more. It's going to be a long post. 


So now that I've worked you up to my impending doom, onward!


I'm healthier. November took a HUGE toll on my body. I wasn't eating, wasn't sleeping, couldn't stomach food after a while. It was rough. I didn't want to post too much on that, cos that's not what the blog is for. Nevertheless, I'm getting some serious R&R in the next few days. Which includes Twilight Princess  (which I rented from the local library, booyah!) bean soup (homemade, hodgepodge recipe that is DIVINE) and some sleeping pills which MIGHT right my patterns. Though...I tried one a few days ago, and it didn't kick in till 4 am...hm. Not so confident about that one. 

I need to NOT be passed out at the computer.

As for this month, when I'm done fixing my exhausted body up, I'm making my little brother's Christmas present. I know, I KNOW he's going to get a hat and gloves from someone. But I want to crochet his hat with a Triforce in it, and a Master Sword scarf if i can. We'll see how much yarn I have, and if I still have the skills for it. 


But SHH! Don't tell him! It's a surprise. *wink*