Nightmare of Halloween

Yeah. This year really just sucked.


Simon's dad ended up taking him for Halloween. I'm still sick to the point where eating has become futile. His costume, well, let's just say I don't have a hand with the needle and thread. Sure, I finished, but it didn't come out the way I wanted it to. There will be no pictures. But hey, at least he had fun, right?


I wasn't in the mindset to go out anyway. I suspect the stomach troubles are mental. I'm stressing myself out, you see. And I've been, well...sad. Lonely, I suppose you could say. I still have moments where I want to scream and cry, when I can't stand the fact that Felix is gone and all I want is for him to come back. It tears me apart sometimes. Sometimes.

My sentiments exactly.

What makes it worse, is that I feel like I can't tell anyone. I know there are people who will listen, but do they really want to hear? I doubt it. I'm unraveling, and I can't tell anyone cos nobody wants to hear it. Bleh.


I seriously hope this doesn't mess me up for NaNoWriMo tonight. Though...I fear the worst. I need to find a pick-me-up, fast. Suggestions?

Keeping Up While Sick

It seems that EVERY OTHER POST, I am sick. I'll try to post something...post-worthy and ignore the fact that I have another fever and my bowels want to explode and kill me.


It is October 30th. Two reasons why it's so significant;

1. Halloween is tomorrow.
2. NaNoWriMo is the day after tomorrow.

For now, enjoy this picture of me as Link. Oh, and Princess Zelda who, no joke, I met randomly in the grocery store that Halloween. Friends? YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT. Ahh, college. 

Okay. First off; HALLOWEEN. I have passed on my Link costume to my little brother. I worked on it all day yesterday and the day before (still not done, because threading the needle is such a pain in the ass) and so far I have fixed the hem, shoulders, and sewn a separate belt. I will be finishing up the shoulders and neckline today, and also fashioning him a Deku shield. I myself will be dressing as a makeshift Malon. We're both going to be from Ocarina of Time, and I am so excited to go with him! I have to make due with a brown skirt rather than purple, but it will do. We will be taking pictures. 

Second; NaNoWriMo. I have a story. I HAVE A STORY. I can't wait to start it. All my info, however, is on my OTHER laptop. You know, the one that BSD'd and ISN'T shattered into a zillion pieces. I'll make due though. I have most of the finer details memorized. I probably will make an outline though. Just for the sake of sanity. I'll have a WHOLE post for it, because it's so damn long and tedious. And as I go along, I'll do chapter updates. And word count updates. Cheer me on!

I will do it this year.

In any case, I've gotten about 15 hours of sleep collectively in three days. I think it's time I went to bed. Because I am sick. Again. Not a cold though, so I think it won't be such a problem.  But I need sleep anyway. 

Holy...

CRAP! Has it been two weeks? Well! 


So I have been gone for two weeks. They have been fantastic though, no doubt about it. Apart from my laptop going into BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH mode yesterday, and it still not being fixed today, life's been GREAT! I am glad I kept my old, crappy computer. Because otherwise I would have had a panic attack all day yesterday. 

This thing is a piece of CRAP. Oh well. It functions, and will have to do until my computer is fixed.


So, I'm up to 20 days of feeling absolutely wonderful. In a row. Meaning life's been great. For 20 straight days. Which is peculiar. 


This post isn't going to be much. My thoughts are far too scattered to say anything clever or important. I'll keep up tomorrow, and by then, I hope my laptop is fixed. Until then...well...I'll think of a post. PROBABLY I'll give some info on NaNoWriMo. We'll see. 

The Gamer's Approach

I'm not a neat person. I'm not an athletic person. I don't like being neat or being athletic. My room is a disaster, and I'm out of shape. My last post said I was going to start eating healthy and getting into an exercise routine. I admit, I failed miserably the first day when I fell asleep from 11:30 to 2 pm. I had slept through my exercise hour, and I was so discouraged that I put it off for the next day. I confess, I haven't gotten to it today either. 


Instead, I was inspired to do something more important.


Like I said, my room is a disaster. I don't want to spend time in it. I slept on the couch for a while because I didn't want to spend time in there. My mother was screaming about the fact that her house wasn't clean, and that I have two weeks to help out or I have to get out. I don't work well with orders like that. I will do the exact opposite if someone demands something of me. It has to be my choice, and I was in no mood to follow her orders. But later this morning, my friend sent me a video called Jane McGonigal: Gaming can make a better world. 


Mind. Blown.

If I could harness the creativity and determination I had when making this...

I looked up at my messy bedroom and didn't see a bedroom anymore. First, I saw it as a dungeon. I saw it as a dungeon from the Legend of Zelda series, where I had to move all the "blocks" and find all the "treasures" to "clear" the level. With that level "clear" I could progress. Then I saw it as a version of the Sims, where the reason I am always in a bad mood was because my environment bar was in the red. That meant if I cleaned it my mood would go up and I'd be all around cheerier. The third game I saw was Minecraft. I saw that I had been given a set area on a server, and I could do with it as I wished. I had a bed and other things in it, and I just had to clear the area out, use the resources I had, and make it into my own room. I could even have a rug in there by using "blocks of wool" if I didn't like the wood floor. 

...then I could do far more than just clean a bedroom.

When I realized that I could easily get this done because my mind was able to switch over to game mode, I immediately set to work. Immediately. I'm not finished yet, but now my bed has sheets, a blanket, and a pillow. Now all my laundry has been sorted. I've got unnecessary items ready to go into "the world's most painful trash can" (Thank you, Nicholas Galjanic). I can now properly plan outfits. I can find hidden treasures that were lost over time, and battle against the raging boss that would have my head for the state of my bedroom. This is my gaming approach. And with it I will conquer this house, one dungeon, one room, one block at a time. 

Pardon My Absence

I'm afraid I was ill for a day or so more after my last post. The other days, well, let's just say some pretty amazing changes have been happening in my life.


For instance; in an hour and a half, I start my new diet/exercise regime. I have a friend who is well-versed in fitness, and his advice and encouragement made me decide to finally get up and change. I have my own reasons for getting in shape, though. It's not as if I didn't have a desire to do it in the first place. 

I used to be this thin. That was 3 years ago. I will be this thin again.

I admit; I'm scared. Because I don't know what is going to happen. I don't know what to expect. This is a new life for me and I have no idea what I'm getting into. I am nervous. But I'm ready to do this. It's been long since coming. 


I am currently 255 lbs. I want to reach 195, but I was advised not to make that THE goal. Baby steps, I was told. So this will be my setup for the rest of 2011.

• October - 245 lbs
• November - 235 lbs
• December - 225 lbs

And after that, well, we'll see if I'm slowing down with the weight loss. At a certain point it's going to peter down and get more difficult. I'm not sure at what point this will be. But here's hoping I can achieve these set goals. MY BODY IS READY.